It was the month of July in the previous year, we were wandering on the roads of Nainital, through the hills covered in green, driving in our SUV with the floating white clouds. The whole atmosphere was pleasantly cold, every blow of air that caressed my face was like the gentle touch of a beloved. I felt like I was losing myself into a meditative state, dropping out of consciousness inch-by-inch.
After I woke up from my short nap I felt a sense of lightness. In the last 8 months, it had never happened that I slept on my own without forcing myself. But it happened during this trip, not once or twice but a number of times.
Technically, I was wasting my time travelling like this, not working, or learning something that’d directly help me in my career. Yet I was happy. At that moment I wasn't just happy but I was happy about myself.
And that’s when a thought came to my mind. That happiness has two sides, and this idea simplified the concept of happiness for me, forever. This is why I named this essay, “Coin of Happiness” because happiness, like a coin, has two sides.
I am not sure, maybe somebody else would have proposed a similar perspective, but in my knowledge, I haven’t read anything coinciding.
The Two Sides of Happiness
What made my visit to Nainital so special, why was I so happy about it? Why the realization of the fact that what I’m doing is the best thing to do at this moment, made me happier?
It wasn’t that I was just happy, but I was happy about myself. I was happy that I took the decision to go on a trail with my family and cousins. This is when I comprehended that there are two sides of happiness, ‘Momentary Happiness’ and ‘Reflective Happiness’.
Momentary Happiness
One question that is enough to define, the fancy term that I have quoted as, momentary happiness, is: “Are you happy doing this thing, at this moment?”
Doesn’t matters whether it is right or wrong as per the norms of the society or the things you value in your life. You might be hurting or cheating someone, and you may feel happy at that moment. The guilt of doing so may or may not dawn you after a while, about which we will talk in the next section. But for now, let's consider an example of momentary happiness.
When I was 14 I enjoyed bullying a classmate. Although, I did apologize to him for my disgraceful actions when the guilt encircled me.
My point here is, that Momentary Happiness is being happy at the moment without acknowledging the moral or ideological aspect of your actions or pleasure, but that doesn’t mean you are immoral or moral when you experience it, you can be both.
You can be happy because you helped a colleague or your daughter kissed you or you’re doing c*caine.
Momentary happiness is just not acknowledging and analyzing why you are happy.
Reflective Happiness
One question that would be enough to describe Reflective Happiness is: “Are you happy being happy in this situation?”
It is basically, asking yourself whether your happiness about a particular incident or a situation is able to justify the values you hold close in your life. It's you being conscious about your happiness.
Bullying someone that they end up crying may make you feel mighty at that moment, but if you’re someone who values compassion and believes that all of us deserve to be respected, then the guilt might come back to you knocking your door.
Recognizing why you are happy doubles your happiness if you are happy for the right reasons.
Recognizing why you are happy halves your happiness if you are happy for the wrong reasons unless you’re a nihilistic psychopath.
If we have to take only one lesson from this blog, I’d want us to take a moment once in a while to consider the question of reflective happiness.
Stay tuned till the next blog, where we will examine the importance of values in life.
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